You know that high horse I mentioned? You are still on it.

Several days ago I was having a conversation with a male acquaintance online. He was asking for my advice about a woman he had spent time with the weekend before. The said woman had recently split from a long term relationship (just a month ago) and my acquaintance (let’s call him Duane) was wondering what course of action he should take. Duane had just noticed that the woman’s Facebook status had just changed from single to engaged, and was wondering if she had perhaps gotten back together with her ex.

I decided that this was the correct time to educate my obviously naive acquaintance a little bit about women. I told him that no woman is ready to date (at least seriously) again a month after a long term relationship has ended. I also told him that she was likely just spending time with him because she didn’t want to be alone missing her ex. Duane got miffed at my observation and started ranting about how men just move on from a woman as soon as the relationship is over and that dwelling on past relationships is not an important step.

This obviously set me off and before I knew it I was mentioning his high horse, his asshole tendencies, and the fact that he is just like every other man that women try so hard to avoid. I told him he doesn’t deserve a woman with his attitude, and cue typical male response: he acted like none of this was true and he was the most upstanding male to ever pee on a tree.

He tried to revert to sob story territory, telling me about an ex that have given him an STD and how she had been a total bitch (after hearing the story it was obvious he was the ass in the situation) and when I stood up for his ex—he claimed I only did it because of my past relationships. He then called his ex immature for having an emotional response to the breakup. Unfortunately I did not save that conversation—but I did save the one we had yesterday which continued it—and I have put it below. (I changed his screen name so that he maybe has a chance someday of finding a shallow bitch to date).

Duane (9:59:06 PM): Is it possible that the reason you became so angry with me last night, is because you viewed my tale of tragedy and woe through the lens of your own past relationships?
AmelieLillith (10:01:08 PM): nope
AmelieLillith (10:01:13 PM): because I told my friend all about it and she has only ever had a good relationship and she thinks you are being an ass too
Duane (10:02:51 PM): have you ever played that game where a group of people sit in a line, the first person reads from a card and then whispers to the person next to her who then whispers to the next person and so on and so on until it gets to the end and the phrase is completely massacred?
AmelieLillith (10:03:31 PM): yup it's called telephone and I didn’t say anything except that I wanted her opinion then sent her what you said.
AmelieLillith (10:03:52 PM): and that high horse I mentioned last night
AmelieLillith (10:03:57 PM): you are still sitting on it
Duane (10:04:04 PM): not exactly
Duane (10:04:29 PM): I don't see myself as on a high horse, but rather the person who gets hit by a drunk driver while walking on the side of the road
Duane (10:05:09 PM): I may have had dark colors on but I would hardly place all of the blame on myself
AmelieLillith (10:05:58 PM): no but here's the thing
AmelieLillith (10:06:56 PM): you place none of it on yourself
AmelieLillith (10:07:22 PM): but you know what, go ahead and think that I jumped to the conclusions I did because of what I have been through
AmelieLillith (10:07:47 PM): but before you do that, maybe you should dwell on the fact that you are single...and that maybe your total lack of an emotional response to things is why
Duane (10:07:47 PM): you didn't hear the whole story, you started criticizing me and my actions well before that point
AmelieLillith (10:08:00 PM): no before that point I was giving you the other viewpoint
AmelieLillith (10:08:08 PM): but you seem to forget that you started the convo
AmelieLillith (10:08:16 PM): by telling me that you move on fast from women
Duane (10:08:20 PM): I guess I did
Duane (10:08:25 PM): no I did not
AmelieLillith (10:08:27 PM): ...not a great way to get any woman in a talking mood
AmelieLillith (10:08:54 PM): and judging emotion as immaturity is another mistake
AmelieLillith (10:08:56 PM): but I’m still pissed
Duane (10:08:57 PM): that was in jest and if I did mean that how do you explain me being predominantly single for the last 3 years
AmelieLillith (10:09:04 PM): umm
AmelieLillith (10:09:07 PM): you had no indication
AmelieLillith (10:09:09 PM): of it being a joke
AmelieLillith (10:09:12 PM): until AFTER I got mad
AmelieLillith (10:09:15 PM): and had been getting mad
AmelieLillith (10:09:16 PM): for awhile
AmelieLillith (10:09:20 PM): and you being single
Duane (10:09:21 PM): well you could have asked
AmelieLillith (10:09:27 PM): probably because you think women are immature
Duane (10:09:31 PM): no
AmelieLillith (10:09:36 PM): why the fuck would I ask
AmelieLillith (10:09:38 PM): you said it
AmelieLillith (10:09:40 PM): you didn’t deny it
Duane (10:09:40 PM): but now you're jumping to conclussions
AmelieLillith (10:09:41 PM): when I got mad
AmelieLillith (10:09:51 PM): no I’m giving you another idea of why you are single
AmelieLillith (10:09:58 PM): because you are obviously incapable
AmelieLillith (10:10:01 PM): of accepting
Duane (10:10:09 PM): well I figured you're realize I was goofing around
AmelieLillith (10:10:09 PM): that you might be single for a reason that lies within YOU
AmelieLillith (10:10:14 PM): well i didnt
AmelieLillith (10:10:17 PM): and i still dont think you were
Duane (10:10:35 PM): have you read me as being consistently serious the entire time you've known me?
Duane (10:11:06 PM): I believe I stated my claim as to how 'guys move from one girl to the next'
AmelieLillith (10:11:07 PM): what?
AmelieLillith (10:11:15 PM): dude
AmelieLillith (10:11:17 PM): you are doing it again
Duane (10:11:18 PM): right after I described how I believed women move on
AmelieLillith (10:11:22 PM): you are trying to turn it around on me
AmelieLillith (10:11:25 PM): when you were being an ass
AmelieLillith (10:11:31 PM): so I am going to go
Duane (10:11:33 PM): which Im sorry could not have been taken serious
AmelieLillith (10:11:35 PM): you reevaluate your life then come talk to me, bye.
Duane (10:11:47 PM): why are you taking this so personally?
AmelieLillith (10:12:01 PM): BECAUSE GUYS LIKE YOU ARE THE PROBLEM
AmelieLillith (10:12:03 PM): goodbye
Duane (10:12:19 PM): do you remember the comment about girls 'eating a tub of ice cream, crying to their friends and then being fine in two weeks'
Duane (10:12:26 PM): did you think that was serious?
AmelieLillith (10:12:40 PM): I have stuff to do that is more productive than this
Duane (10:13:27 PM): alright, I'll contact you again in a couple of days
But I insist, no one is more aware of my faults than I am
Duane (10:15:08 PM): oh and
'BECAUSE GUYS LIKE YOU ARE THE PROBLEM '
Duane (10:15:14 PM): thanks for the generalization
Duane (10:18:02 PM): btw did it occur to you that maybe you, oh I don't know hurt me in that conversation last night? Probably not
Duane signed off at 10:18:09 PM.